The world of Juno is a world that is almost the world I live in, except that all of the people there speak in sarcastic banter the way a Shakespearean cast throws around iambic pentameter.
Yet in the midst of an incredibly talky script, the most powerful scene in Juno has no words at all. And it needs none.
The power comes from the quiet– from the contrast. The shot starts with two sets of feet sticking out at the end of Juno’s hospital bed– striped socks and grassy track shoes. Then it cuts to Juno being held by Bleeker as she smiles, she cries, then smiles again. No words are needed because this moment is the cumulation of everything the viewer and Juno have been through together since the film began. No words are needed between us any more than words were needed between the two of them. We all now share a common experience.
The emotions work because the writer held back and didn’t play the most valuable card until just the right time.
You can master emotional payoffs in your writing, too.
Avoid Rushing or Lose the Payoff.
When writing comics, and especially webcomics, we must avoid a very real temptation to rush into our most powerful scenes. At the beginning we’re trying to get our story off the ground and think we need to use our most gut-wrenching ammunition in order to hook readers and grow a devoted following or attract a publisher.
But there is a problem with this strategy. The reason that scene in Juno works is precisely because the audience had to wait for it.
By the time we get to Juno and Bleeker on the hospital bed, the writer has paid for it in full.
Doing this in comics can feel risky. A movie’s worth of story can take years in webcomic production time. Will I still be writing this webcomic in two years? Will any of my readers still be following the story? Does holding off on these payoff moments mean no one will see my skills as a writer until then? And how will I grow a readership if the payoffs take forever to arrive?
The desire to rush into emotionally charged moments without building up to them is a dangerous one. It’s instant gratification to use them now. And yet, without the proper build up, those scenes will not have the emotional impact they were meant to.
Readers need to see your characters fail before they can succeed, or vice versa. Put them on that journey with your character: rooting for them, fearing for them, being angry with them and celebrating with them along the way. And then when that powerful moment finally arrives? It has every last drop of impact that you intended it to have.
Does this mean that you cannot use emotionally charged scenes until the end of your story?
Definitely not. Give your characters glimpses of that penultimate experience along the way. Let your reader see what it could mean if only your character got it– and what it would mean if they did not.
If you play that card too soon it’s forever out of your hand. Once it’s on the table, you can’t get it back. So spend wisely and at precisely the right time.
Budget Scenes Like You Budget Money.
I like to think of emotional scenes in financial terms: certain types of scenes cost more than others.
A kiss, a death, a victory, a betrayal, a reconciliation, a shocking reveal.
“Luke, I am your father!” costs much more in a script than an X-Wing/ TIE Fighter battle.
Luke Skywalker learns Darth Vader is his father and teaches us all how to write just a little bit better in the process.
You only have so much money to spend in any given script and certain scenes “cost” more, so learn to budget how you spend.
The above example is so expensive, in fact, that script currency had to be saved up for two entire films before it could be cashed in.
But wow, what a payoff. One of of the greatest in film history!
Another way to think of this concept is in terms of composition: dominant, subdominant, subordinate.
We think about these things when creating visual art: everything in a drawing cannot be the subject. All of your colors cannot be given equal prominence. Parts of an image must recede, must support, must hold up, must compliment, must contrast in order that others shine.
Writing is the same.
As soon as you use too many emotionally charged scenes, they begin to lose their impact. Everything has prominence. And so nothing does.
Don’t overuse your most emotionally charged scenes. Find ways to say more with less. Find the beauty in the tension of the “what if” missed opportunity moments and use these to hook your readers and reel them in, slow and controlled until the payoff is just right to drop that explosive scene.
Don’t Listen to Your Fans.
If you are writing your comic as a webcomic, you will be tempted to try to maintain the same level of enthusiasm from your readership with every single update.
“Last week I had 36 comments. This week I only have 12.”
Readers will tell you want they want. Loudly. And often.
It sure is tempting to give them what they ask for, isn’t it? Every update can feel like a litmus test of the success or failure of your story.
Except, it is not.
If your comments ebb and flow with the pace of your story, you are probably doing something right. I have only killed one character in the long run of my webcomic. That update shattered all previous comment records I had had on my site.
Don’t expect that kind of response to every update. But when you do finally drop a bomb into your story, long time silent readers will rise up to comment because they are so upset, or surprised, or elated by what you have done.
This should happen. Enjoy it. You earned it. Just don’t be upset when the buzz dies down and things return to normal.
Your readers have not gone anywhere. You’re just back to the grind of the day-to-dayness of your story. Let the dust settle before you pull out another big punch.
I write a comic that has a strong romantic element to the story. Yet I waited four years between my characters’ first kiss and their next. But when it finally did happen, I think my readers were ready to kiss me.
Wait for it... Wait for it...
Don’t rush the slow build. Built up to it. Pay for it. And make sure that it makes sense.
It is possible to show off your skills as a writer through restraint. In fact, I think this is the best way to shine and stand out as a comic writer. Don’t let fear rush you into spending all of your biggest moments up front and short changing yourself in the end just for a quick payoff today.
You hold the cards. So play them wisely.
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, I love this post. In fact I love this whole podcast. This post has really made me think more about my writing and how I can better lead my audience to those emotional payoffs. The webcomic Dreamless also made me think the same thing recently. It hooked me as the reader and led me through the story really well so that by the time of the “payoff” I was emotionally involved with the characters.
Thanks for the great post!
great post. Thanks for the site. I’ve become a big fan of your podcast.
Thank you! We’re glad to have you!
Hi guys! I’m fairly new here but I am elated that you guys have posted so much valuable information!
For this post, I completely agree about ‘paying for’ the best scenes. I felt like LOST kept playing the high emotion too much, and after a while the main characters were just trying to figure out the origin of island at the expense of interchange and personal growth. I also think that’s a huge problem with several mainstream comic titles as well.
The cost of emotional scenes is something I’m grappling with right now with a few scripts I’m writing. It almost becomes a trapeze act between the anticipation of events, the event, and the aftermath, and how intense each one needs to be. This is so helpful Lora, thanks so much for posting this!
I like to think of it the way I think of layouts on a comic page. What is the most important thing that happens on that page? Make that the biggest.
It sounds so simple that it’s almost silly but I think your emotional scenes should be the same. What’s the most important? Make it the biggest.
Actually that’s a great way of putting it! It makes perfect sense. Thanks so much!
Cost and Budget is a good analogy for the emotional weight of a script.
A related part of this issue is action VS: downtime. If you have an action heavy story, then the downtime becomes much more important by contrast. So the tale that spends 9 of 12 chapters in battle is often made or broken by those three chapters of preparation and coping with the action’s repercussions.
I’m glad to have read this article, and I’ve also bookmarked it so that I can see if there’s more that’s interesting and useful to read.
Welcome, Hariman!
I’m sure you’ll find a lot of great content and conversation here at Paper Wings.
Thanks for commenting!
Great post Lora! I’ve got to share my favorite emotional read. This one was so intense that I was truly shaken by it. http://stitches.davidsmallbooks.com/ Kelly light recommended this one and it cemented my appreciation for the power of graphic story telling. It is a very dark read, but so worth it. Each little painful brick in the wall leads to the POW when, as a teen, aided by his therapist, David comes to realize an awful truth. The way he represents that pain, pages & pages of rain… You gotta read it. When it was all over I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him it’s all right. Knowing this is his auto bio adds a lot of weight. That someone could come out of such a dysfunctional family and live to tell about it… Just WoW.
I’m not sure I understand the “cost” analogy used here, but I understand the desire to rush some scenes. My webcomic updates once a week, in a decompressed storytelling way, so it takes ages to get to the really good stuff. I’m grateful to all the readers I have that stick around. Sometimes I want to condense pages or whole chapters, and sometimes that might actually work, but other times I have to force myself to let certain things breathe and just deal with the time it takes. One page a week is still one more page than I had before.
Instances where I’ve seen this emotional payoff work…I’m basically thinking of any scene that made me cry or gasp or squeal, and the only thing I can really think of is actually from a book, not a comic or film. It’s The Bartimaeus Trilogy, but Jonathan Stroud. In the very last book of this trilogy, in the very last chapter, the end scene lasting only a couple pages left me crying, and had me in a stupor the rest of the day. If the reader has stuck around for all three books, he’s gone through about a thousand pages with these two characters, watching them grow and change separately, and in the very end there’s a tremendous payoff. That last chapter, as a matter of fact, made the entire series my favorite set of books ever, because the build up to that small moment is part of why it was so powerful.
I need to read those books again.
Think of it like inflation. If you flood your script with “high priced” scenes they no longer feel a valuable. Twenty bucks doesn’t get you as far as it used to…!
I remember there was a point in LOST where I stopped caring. After one more of my favorite characters was killed off, I checked out. The deaths eventually didn’t seem to add much value to the story, and it cheapened it in the process.
Toward the beginning of the series that wasn’t the case. Every death counted, you felt it, so did the characters. There was some really beautiful writing going on in the first two seasons of that show.
Ohhhhhh, okay that makes more sense. I never watched Lost, but I can understand that sentiment. Reminds me of the Naruto manga, where each batter is “harder” than the first, but they’re ALL treated that way, and there’s all this ridiculous stuff and even after I read like thirty or more chapters of this thing, it didn’t really change. I stopped caring after the 50th “battle to the death!”, if not before. It might be brilliant now, but it’s too late to drag me back.
Anyway, yeah, thanks for clearing that up! XD
Ah, but Naruto stands as a series that uses “Battle to the Death” as its standard level of tension. They’re (inaccurate) Ninja, so putting their life on the line is expected.
The original Naruto spent well and used Dramatic Reveals and Twists well in its run. Tension and excitement were high because each opponent and challenge was paced and timed pretty well.
Unfortunately, in Naruto Shippuuden, the focus has shifted from a scrappy nobody making himself the best, to said scrappy nobody actually being descended from multiple lines of already superpowered ninja AND having the demon fox within him.
Not to mention that the original “You can fight fate.” undertone is undermined by the sheer amount of either special training or inherited abilities that he has. IE: “Naruto was awesome from the start.”
So, there’s also the issue of choosing the right emotional and dramatic moments to spend a story’s budget on, or you can shoot your own story in the foot by making “You can fight fate!” into “It’s my destiny!”
I’ve not read Naruto, but I don’t think a story needs to lack intensity, you just have to know that intensity is your status quo, and still bring in moments that stand out even in the midst of that.
I’m thinking of “Our Cancer Year” by Harvey Pekar, which starts out with his cancer diagnosis. Intense, heavy stuff. And yet it fluctuates between “I can do this” and “I’m not going to make it” the whole way to the end where Pekar’s chemo is so intense he spends what appears to be a few weeks in a state of pain and medication that reads like an acid trip. He ups the intensity so that even in a book full of intensity, we have that big moment at the end where we just do not think he’s going to make it.
Another example from the literary world is Elie Wiesel’s Night. It’s a memoir about surviving the Holocaust. Automatically on account of the subject the intensity of that book is way higher than most stories. And yet it continues to build to a final scene where his father is dying in the night in a bunk next to him, calling out for his son, but Wiesel does not go over to comfort him out of fear of the Nazi guards and a horrible sense of relief. In a book full of haunting scenes, this moment is the most horrifying of them all, far above what the Nazis did to his people and family. This one is a sin he himself committed against his family. And that’s why it is so powerful and horrible in a way that exceeds the rest of his account.
When writing about things with an automatic level of emotional intensity, you still need to find what are these moments that transcend the rest.
“What type of scenes do you think “cost” the most, and where have you seen this done well?”
The latest episode of Fringe comes to mind where Olivia remembers that she loves Peter. Snape’s long-time…crush/obsession/whatever you call it for Lily Potter at the end of the series also seemed to cost quite a bit, but the payoff was huge, at least for me and I don’t even like Snape (though Alan Rickman is the bomb). Of course a big one was Penny and Desmond. Off the chain.
Penny and Desmond – yes. Amazing. So much to say about that.
Something we didn’t go into here was the element of surprise. I heard Michael Arndt say that we usually think of surprise as being the essential element of comedy but it’s great for emotion too.
Toy Story 3 and LOST SPOILER ALERT: Consider yourselves warned:
At the end, when Andy drives to the little girl’s house, there’s a shot peering out of the cardboard box. This is a fake-out. We read this as Woody’s P.O.V. watching Andy walk away. So we are completely surprised when, after Andy has gone through his introductions of all of the toys we were expecting, we are all surprised to see Woody at the bottom of the box. And that’s the real emotional kicker. If you weren’t already in tears, that moment probably did it. Woody made the ultimate sacrifice and the filmmakers knew how important that choice was so they not only earned it, they surprised us with it.
All that is to say that Penny and Desmond was a great surprise. Nobody saw that coming. And it also works in an amazing meta-way in that Penny was also involved with another overwhelming surprise at the end of Season 2. …you know which one…
Great points! I never really thought of it this way before, but it makes a lot of sense. I think you’re spot-on about using restraint. Too many comics and TV shows seem to let it all hang out without any sort of restraint, emotional or otherwise. It’s one reason why I don’t like so many of the zany shows they have for kids these days, because they’re essentially purporting that life is fast, hot, and pretty much extreme on all counts. But of course, real life just ain’t like that…
I’ll keep these things in mind as I write my webcomic script! I really want to have scenes that carry the emotions to peak moments, but I don’t want them to be abrupt, constant, or too early.
I think you can feel a desperation in writing sometimes– a desperation to impress or show off in a hurry. Like a TV pilot that feels like it needs to fit everything into the first episode because it might not get another chance.
I’m amazed how many writers can use this device, because it seems like in “mainstream” American comics, there’s a trend of writing called “Drama porn” that seems to practice the very opposite of this. I’m not saying all Big 2 comics are like this, but there are some that behave like milking emotional moments as meaninglessly and cheaply as possible is the way to make a good comic. That might sell well briefly in the short term, but it makes for some awful stories in the long term.
Examples:
- Sidekick #658 died horribly!
- Superhero XYZ’s girlfriend got fridged! AGAIN!
- The world’s gonna blow up! No, not the world! The galaxy! The universe! The multiverse! ALL OF EVERYTHING EVER! AAAAGGHHHHHH!!
This type of storywriting treats drama in the same way pornography treats sex and relationships. It distills the material to “the big payoff” and makes little regard for all the other context that normally surrounds these situation. This is a terrible way to write stories and it boggles my mind people actually pay money to produce, market, and read this stuff.
Your characters have to have down time moments. If nothing else, what you do with your off moments is even more important than what you do with the “big moments.” Those are the moments you’re supposed to be moving your story along. Those are the moments you’re supposed to be developing your characters. It’s those times that make us care about the big moments when they happen. If I don’t know what’s going on with the story, or if I don’t care about the characters in play, the big moments absolutely won’t matter to me when they occur. Or worse, they’ll be totally hammy and laughable.
Lay your groundwork down before you worry about big moments. Spend the time to make your audience care about the story and the characters. If you think you’re limited on time to make things happen, what are you doing writing long-form story webcomics? It’s a long haul investment. Deal with it.
“This type of storywriting treats drama in the same way pornography treats sex and relationships.”
Wow. Very insightful. I’m going to quote this one often, Jules.
I wish I could say that thought is mine, but I read it from a comics article about a year ago. I can’t find the link to it because Google completely steers me in the wrong direction when the word “porn” is anywhere in the search query.
I’ll keep digging. I know I can find it.
No, I can’t find it. Just assume I got it from somewhere super smart and awesome.
Love it even if it isn’t original with you!
I think there are a lot of problems in main stream comics, but directly relating to this thought I see two big ones: First, the constant “changing of the guard” on creative teams. Very few people are given long runs on titles to where they can really build something and make it amazing.
(I thought that Bendis’s run on Daredevil was a rare exception.) So a lot of “bang” is packed into short runs because that is all a lot of creators have. And then if the writers change, some one else comes in with a new idea and starts over again. There’s very seldom a long, slow build toward anything.
The other problem I see is the Summer Cross Over event. I know they’re trying to sell books. I know they have to sell books. If four issues or so every year are devoted to an event, that only gives you eight the rest of the year to do what you want with. And that’s not too a long of a time in a comic’s run. I hear creators complaining in interviews all the time that their plans for a book were interrupted again and again by mandatory cross-over events, which interrupted what they were doing, and then altered the course of their characters afterward so they couldn’t complete their original idea. Frustrating! For creators and for readers!
you know Jules I think you nailed why I never really got into main stream comics. To much Wham! Bam! Thank you Mam-sir. I’m all for the “getting to know you” portion of the program. Make me CARE what happens to the Character and their world. Well said.
Wow! What awesome points!! I agree and i also point to a comment made by Lora one time about the fact that her character, Bea, has only gone through a very short time “in story”. Just like you said, the emotions cannot be high all of the time and when you put that in the perspective of in story time, certain books are running their characters as though the are skitzos on esspresso! Never slowing down and without normal aspects of their lives. Its as though they are always in the mode of preparedness for the next fight.
i believe this has alot to do with the insane competition of the publishers and how monthly, they must wiz-pow the others to work that limited dollar from the customer. I think this is different for the small press reader maybe because they go out specifically looking for the opposite of that elsewhere. Thats just my thoughts.
thanks for the comments!
Also, love the scripting currerny thought! Brilliant!!
Lora, you’ve definitely been practicing this theory in full. And you’re right about the comments – I’ve only commented a few times on your comic but I’m still engaged and reading. The way you are currently “holding your cards” with flashbacks has been quite delightful and definitely much more satisfying than killing off one character and then moving right to the next one.
Another way to think of this would be to just look at life. I’ve been through experiences where my emotions are high and others look on feeling barely any emotion (and I’ve been in the opposite situation as well) and generally those who are unemotional about the event are simply missing the experiences that led up to that event. When I got to work on my first feature film, it was intensely satisfying BECAUSE of the years of work I had to put in to get me there. Had I just gotten the job the moment I thought ‘I’d like to do that’ – I would not have appreciated the experience hardly at all. For this reason, I’m really enjoying my current journey (job search) – because I’m really going to enjoy the payoff! Art reflects life.
Yeah, Scott, I think that the emotional scenes are landmarks that the other supportive/ connective scenes link together. And thus, it results in a satisfying, engaging whole.
‘Breaking Bad’ deals with fallout & consequences of big, emotional events in the most compelling ways I’ve ever seen on TV. …and those scenes are just as, if not more compelling than the big, emotional moments.
Thanks for the kind words, Scott.
I’m glad you’ve been enjoying The Dreamer!
How right you are Scott. A word from the Wiser.
) I’m still suffer… er… um, enjoying the journey, (must remain forever the optimist) and every bitter sweet moment in the struggle will make the payoff profound.
I love the notion of a “cost” to emotional scenes in stories. It’s just such a good analogy for it. I’d say the end of Wrath of Kahn is a similar moment. We spend almost the entire film in high-adventure mode. Lots of heroes tackling villains, daring-do and so forth. But the end is this death and then funeral scene. And it all dovetails with this undercurrent theme in the film of aging and facing death. In a way it’s the ultimate summation of the Kobayashi Maru test in the beginning, we get to see how all the major players face the no-win situation. Kahn spends his last minutes trying to take his opponent with him, Spock sacrifices himself to save his crew and Kirk flatly ignores the danger, to the loss of one of his own. Great emotional payoff in a film that until that point had been light, fast paced, even comical at points.
Side note to this great discussion, the Image Comics Expo is running this Friday through Sunday at the Oakland convention center in Oakland CA. I’ll be there along with my studio mate Vinh-Luan Luu at table 403. I know there’s some Wingers in the area so please come out and say “hi” if enough of us are about perhaps we can make a Paper Wings get-together while the show is going. For more info on the show, go here: http://www.imagecomicexpo.com/
Oh, snap, you work with Vinh-Luan Luu? I’m gonna be at Image Comics Expo too! I was going to stop by, but now I know you’re a winger, that makes this even BETTER.
Yep, we’ve been studio mates and collaborators since early college, going on 10 years now. There’s very little comic work I do that Luan isn’t involved in somehow.
I’m always amazed how small a world the industry is. Definitely look forward to seeing you there!
I’m a Comin! Could only make it for Saturday but We’ll be there!
Sounds like a plan to me!